Take a Breath! 

Even when on a working vacation it’s important to practice positive self care! I’m not talking about taking a shower or using deodorant but we are all grateful when those things are consistent. 

Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

            -Virginia Satir 

I’m taking a moment to remind you and and mostly myself of one of the greatest lessons I am continually learning. To continue to move forward in anything self care must be a priority. Self care can wear many faces and people often label things as self care that are far from it. Let’s be real, authentic with ourselves and make time to exist and breathe and be okay. We get caught up in the depths of life’s current struggling to meet expectations of others but as Satie said… “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” 

What does that mean for you and your reality today? 

What are some activities or relaxation tools you enjoy in your own self care time? 

Theatre of the shoulds 

The theatre of the shoulds is an explaination for an experience many have when our head and heart must divide because the orthodoxy of Christian living doesn’t meet our needs as we live on earth and the structure of our community. This requires the theatre of the should outside and needs inside. Our hearts need quenched from a thirst far deeper than any earthly gift. We reach for anything that resembles “water”.  Our lives are divided into two parts… our secret life inside and the life others see. It’s a struggle. The alternative many choose is to simply deaden themselves if they do not seek out any water available. 

What other option do we have? I am speaking of those who know Christ yet find themselves in this battle of numb it or drown it.

Despite aiming this at us ladies, I know this is a reality for both men and women alike…

I think a few answers are found in the word, worship, prayer, and community.  Reading the same chapters and books can become mundane at times but that’s when the spirit is able to bring revelation and we find His leading through prayer and community! It’s all connected! 


What other ways have you found to keep yourself filled with joy and motivation? From where do you draw strength? 

No Words

Who or what is dictating the story of our lives?  There are times in life we are left without any words to describe the internal experience of the forming of our story.  How do I feel?  Not how do I think or believe but how do I feel?  This is a challenging question because by and large many people tend to say “I feel…” when they are actually disclosing a thought or belief.  What is going on with me?  Would anyone actually understand?
bd140c955902c9dd708d7ed89cdf6462      I hear this from many clients and I have experienced it myself at times.  When we are left without words to express ourselves or find we are too fearful, isolation can surround our hearts.  An isolated heart can cause us to feel so far from those we love and the adventures we long for. What can we do?

When there are no words… Get creative! Don’t give your control to anything or anyone! Enough of life can be oppressive so stand your ground and own your journey however that may look! I would like to challenge even myself to fear not when I cannot describe and maybe reach out to the opportunity to express instead!  Often describing something that is felt versus thought can cause it to be flat and lifeless. Our feelings are far from flat and lifeless! We feel blue! We smell winter! We are as clean as a whistle! Our lives are more than our thoughts.  Such experiences more valuable in expression than description… how does blue feel and winter smell…

Let’s commit to being a believer of our realities and begin shaping circumstances into life experiences that create more of what we want.  Negativity can be found in all experiences but there’s a flip side as well… the positive outlook is a choice.  If we allow life, it will inhibit.  When will we be believers in our own ability to create better for ourselves?

I would love to hear of your experience with processing the world around you! Let’s stop and take a moment to become more self-aware. Just because we cannot describe whats happening inside doesn’t mean it doesn’t have validity or impact on our existence!

Bitterness or Betterness? It’s Up to Us.

I wholeheartedly believe it must be far better to forgive injustices of the past than to allow them to remain, let bitterness take root, and poison the rest of  our journey in life.  I can’t help but believe, in so many ways, bitterness is presently a common staple in our communities.  

I feel morally inclined to share a bit about how I rest in peace, not in a complete detailed break down maybe more of an overview.  I hope from this you readers will find motivation to seek peace in your own life if peace is not currently found.  

The photo of the Cliffs of Moher is a symbol of peace for me.  When my life is raging and fast paced, I do my best to reset the pace for peace by going to a happy peaceful place in my mind as part of that reset.  This is one of those memorable, impressive places I mentally revisit. When I was actually standing in the place I took the photo, I was surrounded by people but I could barely hear another voice beside my own.  The crowds of others were not standing directly beside me but one would have thought I could hear them at the short distances but I could not. Why? The winds where blowing so hard it drowned all other voices out but my own.  It was peaceful and serene. Despite the crowd I felt I was the only one standing on the cliffs surveying beautiful lands and waters. This was not a lonely alone but more like a conquering restful aloneness filled with all the peace I could fathom. This is a feeling I continually seek to replicate once I learned of its extent of restfulness for me. 

What will it take for us to set a pace of peace and be determined to live in the here and now and make efforts to create goodness around us? Instead we live in upset, disappointment, bitterness, and judgement… How will this help any situation? How can we hope for change and expect someone else to bring it? 

“There’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo……..and it’s worth fighting for!”  -Samwise Gamgee

Love- by Sara Groves helps tell the story of what I am attempting to convey. Enjoy. 

Efficacy… Magic, Labor, or Ingenuity?

stop-imagining-that-ineffective-behaviors-will-magically-start-working-if-you-just-work-harder_Fotor.jpg

What makes change both a possible and a successful objective?  Maybe we should begin by looking at a few things that fail, in the effort of seeking change.  I believe it could be the direction a person’s has set his or her focus.  Is it possible by focusing on the processes for success, such as hard work and skills/tools rather than the people involved, one might see decrease in efficacy?  

Potentially, there are an innumerable number of measurable helps to ensure a greater rate of success. However I am only one person so I am going to give a few influences from my personal experience and maybe you can leave feedback in the comments below expectations that have been positive influences in your personal success experiences…

  • Specifications and parameters to define the scope of what you or I put our hand to in hopes of success and change! So, determine resources and be efficient in allocating such helps.
  • Flexibility and openness as the scope of your focus changes and the project takes shape.  If resources are not monitored and reallocated due to the needs of the invariably changing scope the potential for failure increases.
  • Stay focused on the “real goal”. Throughout the process there will be many given opportunities for distraction and derailing if focus is not steadily on the desired outcome. Just don’t ignore learning opportunities. Be wise. 
  • Prepare for sustainability through the process. The worst outcome would be to reach the desired goal and not have the resources to sustain the change. The journey that’s worth taking to success is not one that includes wasting or dumping necessary resources for sustainability later down the road. Plan, prepare, and plan some more. 

Why does this matter?  I see too many individuals in my line of work giving up due to a variety of defeats. I cannot help but wonder the old “what ifs?” like… What if the client tried just once more from a different perspective? The “what if’s” hang me up constantly.  Most of the time I see potential and hope for each of those individuals who have or are actively giving up sitting across from me but it is still convincing that person that is the hardest.  We, as a collective people, have so many experiences with success and failures and such experiences vary vastly from one another… 

Please share what you believe can aid in personal success for change.  I did approach this with a less emotional view and more practical application so I realize there are emotional variables but if it’s possible to steer away from intense emotional triggers and utilize logic and analysis at a greater level I believe the outcome will be more desirable with less regrets. Emotion has its place. 

Marginalized Qualities

I have a new role… and I must meet the obligations it imposes.
Wonder Woman

Vamers-Atristry-Marvel-and-DC-Superheroes-Walk-Their-Children-to-School-Banner.jpgSincerity, transparency, authenticity, and curiosity… I consider these leadership characteristics , to often be marginalized qualities. The countertraits first can create a strong foundational quality for successful leadership.  Each trait has a tendency to be squelched by the development of other, more favorable leadership habits such as: knowing all, maintaining image, personal interests, and experience.

Here are some leadership lessons we can all take into account when working with other human beings!

  • “Govern yourself with love, kindness, and service to others” -Wonder Woman
  • “Failure is the fog from which we all glimpse triumph.” -Iron Man
  • “With great power comes great responsibility.”
    -Spiderman
  • “You want to control me, & you can’t. But that doesn’t make me your enemy.”
    -Superman
  • “Courage is nothing without the will to use it.”
    -Iron Man
  • “Everything’s impossible until someone does it.” -Batman
  • “We’ve all been where you are. Someone helped us when we needed it. Now it’s time to pay it forward.”
    -Rogue
  • “No one can win every battle, but no man should fall without a struggle!”
    -Spiderman
  • “I went from being a man trapped in an iron suit to being a man freed by it.”
    -Iron Man
  • “This nation was founded on one principle above all else: The requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences.”
    -Captain America
  • “Mankind is not evil, just uninformed.”
    -Prof. X
  • “You can overcome this or you can wither and die. The choice is yours.”
    -Batman
  • “It’s never as bad as it seems. You’re much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.”
    -Superman

We would love to hear from you about your favorite lessons learned from superheroes.   Please drop us some feedback! Let’s all follow after the great Bruce Wayne as Batman… ” I’m going to try to break the link in the unreal world.” Sure we can come out of the dark boxes we placed ourselves in as conformists and begin creating and leading others into greatness!