To stay as is or become more…?

Soren Kierkegaard once said “There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”  I have seen several theories in his motivation behind this truth.   I happen to believe one reason this is mans fear… man instinctually has the immense need for success.  (Obviously some lack this internal drive) I believe it is to whom much is given much is required or the more you know the more responsibility you hold… so if you are to trip into your greater self you then are held to a higher standard and the fall is much further and the pressure much greater.  I suppose this is why people may prefer to live with the motto “ignorance is bliss” as a form of protection against the pressure to avert mistakes or missteps that can mar ones character. 

Where do you find success and is it relevant to societal expectations?  Where in Life do you believe you have found the greatest nuggets of wisdom, are you still searching, or so you have a good arguement to stay in the blissfully ignorant state staving off responsibility as you may know it? 

Adrenal Glands & their essential bodily functions

  • Carbohydrate Metabolism 
  • Detoxification Capacity 
  • Neural Tissue Health
  • Endocrine Function 
  • Metabolism
  • Musculoskeletal

What is Addison’s? Well. There’s more to this disease than you will desire to read in one blog so I’ll give you some highlights and resources to find out more! 

The definition of Addison’s disease is such a poor excuse to clarify what an Addisonian is and what they experience… but here it is: 

Addison’s disease is a disorder that occurs when your body produces insufficient amounts of certain hormones produced by your adrenal glands. In Addison’s disease, your adrenal glands produce too little cortisol and often insufficient levels of aldosterone as well.

Also called adrenal insufficiency, Addison’s disease occurs in all age groups and affects both sexes. Addison’s disease can be life-threatening.

For an even greater in depth look at the life of an addisonian check out the blog I referenced at the bottom of the page! She nailed it! 



Main symptoms of LOW CORTISOL which, if left untreated can lead to adrenal crisis can vary widely:

  •  Fatigue & muscle weakness
  •  Nausea, sometimes leading to
  •  vomiting and/or diarrhoea
  •  Inability to cope with stress/anxiety
  • Moodiness, irritability, & depression 
  •  Headache or migraine
  •  Rapid heart rate
  • Sweating &/or Dehydration
  • Dizziness/disorientation
  • Muscle aches or pains 

In an actual CRISIS, you will almost always have sudden penetrating pain in the lower back, abdomen, or legs, can have severe vomiting and/or diarrhea followed by dehydration and likely will have low blood pressure and possible loss of consciousness and seizures (BP can also go high in some people). 

In PAI, (Primary Adrenal Insifficiency) potassium will often be elevated and sodium will often drop too low. In adrenal crisis, confusion will nearly always be present in everyone. 

CRISIS SYMPTOMS (these will vary by person and you may only have some of these):

  • Abdominal pain
  • Dehydration
  • Dizziness/light- headedness /Fatigue
  • Flank pain (back sides)
  • Headache/migraine
  •  Fever 
  •  Joint pain
  •  Loss of appetite 
  •  Loss of consciousness 
  •  Low blood pressure (can also be high)
  •  Nausea 
  •  Profound weakness
  •  Low blood sugar 
  •  Rapid heart rate
  •  Rapid respiratory rate
  •  Shaking/chills 
  •  Unusual and excessive sweating
  • Vomiting, Confusion or coma

Here’s a real life story of someone with Addison’s! 

A great way to learn why we aren’t keeping up with YOU and it sounds like we make a lot of excuses to avoid fun check out… Spoon Theory in depth or an overview below:


For more information:

NADF

NORD

Best blog ever to get a clue! 

We used to never get enough…

43051d76d4b1990ed41.jpgWhere has the comedy gone? Relationships are falling flat and the adult world is taking over!!! The following is a review of Penny and Leonards System Dynamics. I would LOVE your feedback on the joy…or discontent… you find with these lovable friends!  (***ALERT*** longer post than usual but it’s worth dealing with the extra 3 minutes of reading! maybe.) P.s. I am sadly aware there are so many from this tribe I did not get to mention… mostly because this became SO LONG!

System Dynamics

Penny and Leonard Hofstadter’s family dynamics are challenging. They are a newly married couple living with a third party at all times. Discontent about a roommate with compulsive and controlling behaviors living with them named Sheldon Cooper was prevalent. Despite discussions, it ends with complaints without actions.  A newlywed couple in our society can view this as a negative impact on their time together.  Finally, Sheldon moves out and the couple then moves in another one of their friends, Raj, with his own personal interesting issues and challenges adding more tension.  There have been indicators prior to marriage that both parties do not believe they have another choice for a relationship and have settled for one another.

Boundaries are challenging within the Hofstadter couple’s marriage and are identified as permeable.  Both Sheldon’s and Raj’s issues bleed into Penny and Leonard’s relationship.  I believe most of the friend’s issues stay in the forefront in this household as people are continually coming and going.  This triangulation has become such a challenge, Sheldon even went on the honeymoon with the couple to San Francisco for what he convinced them was for personal reflection (International, 2015).
Leonard has mommy issues and low self-esteem, he seeks validation and affirmation from both Penny and his mother. Penny is a socialite, can appear selfish, shallow and is always looking to capture her dream as an actress. Penny seeks refuge in the wisdom of her one newly married friend (Bernadette) and one single friend (Sheldon’s Amy) to sort through marital challenges. TV-Show_the-big-bang-theory_270880.jpgThe couple has adopted Sheldon as a relationship akin to a younger sibling or a child.  They are unable to ignore him and move forward.  The more Leonard needs Penny, the more Sheldon needs Leonard. The couple presents with continual attempts to sabotage their own marriage, I believe both are in fear of losing the other and are finding themselves unable to face that fear. Pushing through fear is challenging and a way back to a healthy marriage is communication about these issues.

Sheldon has limited emotional recognition (maybe a sweet pea sized amygdala to blame) as well as lessened expressions of his own emotion.  He is controlling and orderly and many have described him as having Asperger’s syndrome and obsessive-compulsive disorder, but he insists his mother had him tested and he is definitively not classified as crazy.  Raj is not as overtly challenging as Sheldon, but his presence in the newlywed’s home still draws the focus away from whatever issues the couple may need to resolve.  If the issues remain on the back burner, they can fester and grow rather than create growth.

The couple’s supra-systems are impacted by social group differences and families of origins (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015).  Leonard’s personal devotion to all things science fiction is far removed from his wife’s yoga practicing, low-tech lifestyle choices. The families of origin come into play periodically abrasively reminding this couple of their vastly differing upbringing. Minimal history is provided of legitimate financial stability other than Leonard refusing marriage therapy due to the cost being a strain. Leonard comes from a high-achieving family and personally is an experimental physicist at Caltech with a sibling working as a tenured law professor at Harvard. Penny has a high school education or equivalent and a few college courses. There a is minimal family of origin history other than she has a sibling with drug addiction and a criminal record.

Penny and Leonard have a relationship agreement drawn up by Sheldon and agreed upon by the couple.  It consists of rules, roles, and expectations for their marriage. The covert rules are the challenges that create miscommunication, hurt feelings, and arguments between the couple after the issues have festered for period of time (Wetchler & Hecker, 2015).  I do not believe there has been at length communication about roles and expectations outside of this contract drawn up, signed, and amended when necessary.  This contract was developed due to Penny’s discontent over Leonard’s lack of romantic pursuit of her and her challenge to communicate her feelings with him.

Boy! Relationships can be messy!

For further reading on relationship agreements here is Sheldon’s and Amy’s for your viewing pleasure!

Penny: You guys just got back together. You might not want to ditch her on her birthday.

Leonard: I think Penny has a point. You can see it another day.

Sheldon: But someone might spoil the movie. No one can spoil Amy’s birthday for me. Surprise, she’s even older. Who saw that coming?

Penny: Aww, that’s nice. Put that on her cake.

References:

International, I. A. (2015). Retrieved June 26, 2017, from http://www.aamft.org/iMIS15/AAMFT/Content/About_AAMFT/Position_On_Couples.aspx

Wetchler, J. L. (2015). An introduction to marriage and family therapy. New York: Routledge.big-bang-theory-bazinga_114809.jpg

 

Take a Breath! 

Even when on a working vacation it’s important to practice positive self care! I’m not talking about taking a shower or using deodorant but we are all grateful when those things are consistent. 

Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.

            -Virginia Satir 

I’m taking a moment to remind you and and mostly myself of one of the greatest lessons I am continually learning. To continue to move forward in anything self care must be a priority. Self care can wear many faces and people often label things as self care that are far from it. Let’s be real, authentic with ourselves and make time to exist and breathe and be okay. We get caught up in the depths of life’s current struggling to meet expectations of others but as Satie said… “We must not allow other people’s limited perceptions to define us.” 

What does that mean for you and your reality today? 

What are some activities or relaxation tools you enjoy in your own self care time? 

No Words

Who or what is dictating the story of our lives?  There are times in life we are left without any words to describe the internal experience of the forming of our story.  How do I feel?  Not how do I think or believe but how do I feel?  This is a challenging question because by and large many people tend to say “I feel…” when they are actually disclosing a thought or belief.  What is going on with me?  Would anyone actually understand?
bd140c955902c9dd708d7ed89cdf6462      I hear this from many clients and I have experienced it myself at times.  When we are left without words to express ourselves or find we are too fearful, isolation can surround our hearts.  An isolated heart can cause us to feel so far from those we love and the adventures we long for. What can we do?

When there are no words… Get creative! Don’t give your control to anything or anyone! Enough of life can be oppressive so stand your ground and own your journey however that may look! I would like to challenge even myself to fear not when I cannot describe and maybe reach out to the opportunity to express instead!  Often describing something that is felt versus thought can cause it to be flat and lifeless. Our feelings are far from flat and lifeless! We feel blue! We smell winter! We are as clean as a whistle! Our lives are more than our thoughts.  Such experiences more valuable in expression than description… how does blue feel and winter smell…

Let’s commit to being a believer of our realities and begin shaping circumstances into life experiences that create more of what we want.  Negativity can be found in all experiences but there’s a flip side as well… the positive outlook is a choice.  If we allow life, it will inhibit.  When will we be believers in our own ability to create better for ourselves?

I would love to hear of your experience with processing the world around you! Let’s stop and take a moment to become more self-aware. Just because we cannot describe whats happening inside doesn’t mean it doesn’t have validity or impact on our existence!

Efficacy… Magic, Labor, or Ingenuity?

stop-imagining-that-ineffective-behaviors-will-magically-start-working-if-you-just-work-harder_Fotor.jpg

What makes change both a possible and a successful objective?  Maybe we should begin by looking at a few things that fail, in the effort of seeking change.  I believe it could be the direction a person’s has set his or her focus.  Is it possible by focusing on the processes for success, such as hard work and skills/tools rather than the people involved, one might see decrease in efficacy?  

Potentially, there are an innumerable number of measurable helps to ensure a greater rate of success. However I am only one person so I am going to give a few influences from my personal experience and maybe you can leave feedback in the comments below expectations that have been positive influences in your personal success experiences…

  • Specifications and parameters to define the scope of what you or I put our hand to in hopes of success and change! So, determine resources and be efficient in allocating such helps.
  • Flexibility and openness as the scope of your focus changes and the project takes shape.  If resources are not monitored and reallocated due to the needs of the invariably changing scope the potential for failure increases.
  • Stay focused on the “real goal”. Throughout the process there will be many given opportunities for distraction and derailing if focus is not steadily on the desired outcome. Just don’t ignore learning opportunities. Be wise. 
  • Prepare for sustainability through the process. The worst outcome would be to reach the desired goal and not have the resources to sustain the change. The journey that’s worth taking to success is not one that includes wasting or dumping necessary resources for sustainability later down the road. Plan, prepare, and plan some more. 

Why does this matter?  I see too many individuals in my line of work giving up due to a variety of defeats. I cannot help but wonder the old “what ifs?” like… What if the client tried just once more from a different perspective? The “what if’s” hang me up constantly.  Most of the time I see potential and hope for each of those individuals who have or are actively giving up sitting across from me but it is still convincing that person that is the hardest.  We, as a collective people, have so many experiences with success and failures and such experiences vary vastly from one another… 

Please share what you believe can aid in personal success for change.  I did approach this with a less emotional view and more practical application so I realize there are emotional variables but if it’s possible to steer away from intense emotional triggers and utilize logic and analysis at a greater level I believe the outcome will be more desirable with less regrets. Emotion has its place. 

What is the root of Love…

Outside the Christian definition of love… Christ IS love… I will address that briefly at the end.  I have had the thought of that little four letter word…love… on my mind all morning. Then of course as it should be Pandora delivered me a string of songs discussing love in various aspects when I opened my computer and it played for me without prompt.

Let’s look at affection and warm-heartedness. interracial-relationship-quotes_Fotor.jpgThis really brings inner strength and self-confidence, reduces fear, develops trust, and trust as we all know brings friendship. We are social beings, and cooperation in community  is necessary for our very survival, but cooperation within our communities is entirely based on trust besides a few other important ingredients. When there is trust, people are brought together—whole nations are brought together. Is that not one of the most complicated gifts to give others besides our love…trust. Character is about trust, isn’t it?  …being honest and trustworthy is at the heart of all the best loving relationships or is it?

How do we feel about Old Willy’s words? Do we agree or is there more than this?love-all-trust-a-few-do-wrong-to-none1-2.jpg

Keeping this quote in mind I have to turn to the words of C.S. Lewis on this matter… I feel he has possibly embraced a deeper understanding of this state…

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
-C.S. Lewis.

Lewis’s words cut me so deeply… piercing straight through my highly guarded heart.  These words provoke great reflection on my part…what am I doing in relationships with those I encounter? How am I handling loving others and allowing them to love me in return despite the risk while often times disregarding the potential reward due to being too focused on the unwanted negative consequences that are possible.  All I can say here is wow just OH WOW… I took a moment and asked a few individuals their thoughts on Mr. Lewis’s words and here is what I found…

To quote a man I thoroughly enjoy insight from…

Love. Love is scary. Love is amazing. Love is necessary. Love is required. To love someone is to open yourself up from your core. It doesn’t happen all at once, but in time your core becomes truly open to another person. Loving someone is one thing, letting someone else really love you is another. Once you’ve cracked the door to your core the other person can come in a ruin everything or they can make it all better by their presence. You can’t control what they do once they’re in. I think that is what Mr. Lewis is saying by being vulnerable. That being said, you have the right to create healthy boundaries.  I think it was Andy Stanley who said something to the effect of “Anyone can come onto my porch. A few can come into my living room. But very few can come into my kitchen.”  Love is spelled “RISK.” Love and trust must go hand in hand.  –Bobby Shirley

danbo-wallpapers-rainy-scenic-rainydanbo-120850We, as a skittish people, do not want take a RISK… we desire reward…we run from risk often but there is a greater reward when risk is embraced and the consequences are love. On a simple human level we are all equal. We most often have the same basic desires all innately wrapped in our DNA.  I think as a community we are missing something precious…encouraging the cultivation of inner values and a sense of concern for others’ well being. What do we believe when it comes to truly loving someone else?  Do the three words “I love you” equal “I trust you”…?  Love is the uplifting experience of joy, commitment, contentment, delight, comfort, security, and abandon. Love is not the painful experience of fear, doubt, suspicion, jealousy, obsession, and attachment. More than anything else, I think the highest expression of true love is trust. We have negative experiences when loving others but they do not define love.  Real love demands sacrifice that can’t be found in self-centeredness.  I believe love can only be understood from the actions it prompts.  We are all searching for fullfillment… for connection… to not be invisible and alone but leave a legacy or change behind when we are no longer.

Just a few last thoughts before I close with a view of what love is from the oldest perspective…

I believe we have to love like we will lose if we do not. danbo-looking-for-love.jpg I cannot take for granted those I love because I never know when I will run out of time. Life is fragile and short.  Picturing the value of those around us is enough to compel me to want to love deeper and leap into that risk instead of do what my nature tells me and tip-toe around it. There is nothing in life but risk and reward… sometimes the reward for our risk taking is a negative consequence and that puts us off of trying easily but we have to have grit and a deeper determination to seek out what we are made for with a refusal to give up on ourselves and others. When we express love, we develop a strong emotional attachment, anticipating our love to be returned… sometimes it’s not and that’s painful but it doesn’t negate our actions.

A recent guest blogger stated….

John wrote that perfect love drives out fear. We can’t hold on to our fear and love at the same time. The use of the term casket, in this quote, is the most accurate description of someone who chooses their fear and selfishness over real love. There is an emptiness that happens inside of us when we are too afraid to be vulnerable to someone else. A death truly does occur inside of us when we live without love. We also lose the very thing we desire, to be loved, when we close ourselves off from everyone else. The casket created to protect us from harm, becomes the very thing that hurts us the most. Love is vulnerable, but it is also freeing. It frees us to be everything that we were created to be, and to receive everything we really desire. -Holly Noelle

Coming back to the “Christian” perspective of love, we must identify…

What is Love – God’s Nature
In a response to, “What is Love?” it is erroneous to say “love is God.” God created love, not the reverse. He deliberately chose to express His love to us — revealing the very nature of God Himself.

  • God Is Sacrificial – God initiated an eternal love relationship with us before we loved Him (1 John 4:10).
  • God Is Merciful – God extended the wealth of His kindness even when we were undeserving of His love (Ephesians 2:4-5).
  • God Is Faithful – Even in the most extreme circumstances, God’s love for us remains secure (Romans 8:3538-39).

God did not need to create the universe. He made that choice as an expression of His ultimate love for us. Then God created us a certain way — to experience all that perfect love was meant to be (Song of Songs 4:9-10; 8:6; 1 John 4:7-12).

Being created in the image of the Creator compells us to connection because we are a reflection of Him and He desires fellowship constantly…connection constantly.

I am looking forward to your feedback…