Have we had enough passive self-care? 


You deserve “your” love and affection. 

Let’s talk Self-care! 

I believe we are facing a self-care deficit.  This is not the same as self-centered, or selfish, or “selfie” awareness… we have plenty of that going on these days, according to “google” 

  • 93 million selfies taken per day (they’re not sure how many of those selfies were duck faces)
  • Phones checked 100 billion times per day

Now this is JUST android users! So we aren’t even accessing the count of those members of the faithful iPhone owners. 

What can we do other than be aware… Self-aware. I think we have become “self-aware” in a more negative way such as over use of the aforementioned selfies and social media and overlooked the need for true self-love in a healthy way. Less vanity and more love.

For example, in the place of the innumerable selfies being taken, we can love ourselves in three main areas or components… Physical, emotional/mental, and spiritual.

What are things we can do to meet our needs in these areas? Im so glad you asked…

Here are some ideas some of my clients have had…


  • A nice hot bath with bath salts or essential oils 
  • Pedicure/Manicure
  • Massage
  • Going to the gym or for a walk somewhere pleasant
  • Yoga


  • Intellectual Stimulation i.e. learning 
  • Spending time with friends and loved ones
  • Volunteering
  • Spending time with a pet
  • Coloring Mandalas
  • Paying it forward or random act of kindness


  • Meditation/prayer 
  • Journaling
  • Finding purpose everyday
  • Positive contemplation 
  • Practicing forgiveness 
  • Spiritual community/support 



1 mocha prozac latte with valium sprinkles to go please

I have noticed the topic of understanding anxiety has been rolling through my social media of late. I thought I would join in with my contribution to anxiety awareness since many of my friends have anxiety issues and feel misunderstood. Many times I see clients facing impossible situation from their perspective and the anxiety is overwhelming. That rhetorical question we often pose…can my day get any worse… seems to be more of a challenge to the universe to them rather than the rhetorical question with which we are familiar.

So lets take a look at what often society thinks anxiety is according to those I have will question… (keep in mind this is a small percentage of a large population that I am choosing to represent the whole)

What does anxiety look like?

“Biting nails, rocking, can’t sit still, and maybe hyperventilating?”
“Crying, definitely crying and maybe talking very fast!”
“When I think of anxiety, I think of the people I know that are uptight.”
“People who are really stressed out, those are anxious people.”

11873791_967113569977792_4089553998143499287_nNow that is over, whew… lets check out what anxiety suffers have to say…

To quote a few people:

“I feel like I’m going crazy and only I know it!”
“I feel so alone and afraid”
“I want to hide so no one knows how crazy I must be. I am always afraid I can’t control myself if my anxiety takes over.”
“I always feel so fake because I have to pretend I’m someone I’m not, so people will accept me. If they really knew what was going on in my head I would be all alone.”
“No one would like me if they knew how my anxiety really was, mostly they just think I93371-Im+acting+like+im+ok+please+do am a nervous person or maybe they don’t even notice. I hope most don’t notice.”
“I hate when people tell me to calm down…don’t you think I would like to? It’s not a matter of calming down!”

There is a bit of a contrast here. Could understanding mental health in our society help us understand our fellow-man, our neighbors, our loved ones a little better? I believe this could bring more compassion into our community.  I believe mental health awareness has had a recent rise in positive public encounters with many popular television shows bringing certain mental health issues into the forefront. What else can we do as individuals to help bring awareness? 

I would love to hear your story! What experience have you had with anxiety or other mental health issues? How has your community or immediate sphere of influence interacted with you concerning your mental health and your challenges?


To remind us all how fragile life is I want to end with a quote from a beautiful soul, let his journey inspire us to be better!

Love, a state of being.

Love is impacting and deserves a place of honor in our lives.  What is the difference between the homeless young people and the rest of us of the same age? Usually it’s a single individual that invests in a life making a change in their path even by a few degrees. For that matter it may be more than one individual making the investment if a person is so “lucky” “blessed” “purpose”…?

I recently spent a week working as a therapist for a camp of foster children. My mind was opened to so many new thoughts. My heart was pained and my eyes often burned with tears I had to hold back. I have thought a great deal about many of the children I met and their futures… What does the future hold for them? Will someone change their trajectory? Will someone alter their path by a degree or more? Who will they become? I think we mad a stab at such an alteration despite those that would find fault in the approach or want to suggest the negatives they may see in what we were doing…  We aren’t listening to the nay sayers, I can’t believe any opportunity to love can be a negative.

love-you-shirtWith all of that said, I turn the focus on “us”. We all have varying backgrounds and just as varying present lives…
our lives are as different as our fingerprints. When I think of the lives of these foster kids I spent a week with I can’t help but wonder about the individuals i meet on a daily basis. Those with an orphans heart or orphans mentality. They may not be orphaned in the physical but so many have that heart and mind. I then must further examine myself. Do I have the heart or mind of an orphan? What does that look like? Here is an idea…. imageedit_2_6282120395

After careful examination I am reminded I am always growing! There is always an area for God to be pruning away or encouraging growth. Some of these areas on the list above you may not be able to relate to because you do not know what it feels like to experience that feeling… I believe God will bring mentors and investors into your life to teach you those things! He has in mine! I am forever grateful for the investors God has brought into my life for short seasons and some for the long haul! My path is ever changing, an adventure! I believe thats how its meant to be, not a drudgery. I love this little church and I refer to it often to remind myself where I am on my journey to Him.

Our society is not one of creating Sons and Daughters, it is one of independence, fighting the man, and stepping on anyone in the way, but we can change that one investment at a time.