Awkward silence

We all have those moments when we want to jump in and share our thoughts in a conversation and the reception of the comments create a pause potentially because the group members do not immediately know how to respond or react.
I don’t know about any of you but sometimes my life feels like one sizable awkwardly silent moment. Something I have recently learned on a “big picture” level that has actually been very helpful are… situations where silences are acceptable, and it’s not necessary to constantly try to fill them.
Stillness is okay.

Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain

We as a people…society have grown to avoid silence and stillness at a breakneck pace. We rail against it. We fight it to exhaustion. Why?
I think much if it comes from misunderstanding, lacking, or confusion of identity and a lack of self esteem. Seems like two heavy voids to come from just an awkward silence but think about it.
Many time we are told to BE many things and most of those things are something other than ourselves. Being ourselves must be okay at some point. It takes a personal decision. We must have self confidence, self acceptance, and worthy… We as a society (especially women) seem to think we are constantly in need for extreme intervention in areas we believe we are inadequate. We must learn to celebrate each other and ourselves. Wherever we are currently isn’t were we have been and it’s not where we are going so let’s celebrate our growth along a life journey of ever changing beauty. The standard of beauty we should have is who we are truly right now. We are enough.
What if we stop saying to ourselves… What’s wrong with me? Instead let’s say, what’s right with me!?
We weren’t created to navigate life alone. Build a support system. Challenge yourself to grow.
Watch your mouth.
Say positive things no matter how silly it seems… What you are doing now, is it working? If no, then try something else.

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The servant, leading others…

whoever wants to be first must take the last place and be the servant of all” ~Mark  9:35”

What defines you is not your decision in one moment. It is the decisions you will make every day.  We are presented with many opportunities in our daily happenings. Many of us have opportunities to lead others but to do that we must understand what the purpose of leading is and how to be effective. This is not going to be a comprehensive study on how to be an effectively leader but more of a sneak peak at one approach I believe is the greatest…  The first reason that comes to my mind for a leader to be a servant-leader is we serve others so others will serve others.  Don’t be the only servant in the room.  If the leader is the only servant in the group what is the benefit, what is being learned and who is growing?  Servant-leaders fail when they tolerate self-serving in others.  You aren’t in a place to be in leadership if fear of giving control is controlling you.

Envy often cloaks itself in a noble cause. -Karen Wheaton

fruit3 powerful questions we, as leaders, must ask ourselves and those we are leading:

  1. How can I serve?
  2. How can you serve?
  3. How can we serve each other?

To attract and maintain great people clearly requires relinquishing control.  Many people try to lead from their own abilities secretly or even unknowingly believing their badness is greater than Gods goodness so they strive to lead successfully to make up for what they see as their flaws and failures before God. We cannot be more acceptable in Heaven through natural successes.

Good leaders are careful about little things. -Karen Wheaton

Everything and everyone in a servant-leader led group depends on everything and everyone in the group.  As leaders we have the ability to get the most out of an individual we are attempting to lead with their potential in mind and not their past and mistakes.  A person is not identified by their mistakes.  A single person is not as bad as their worst moment and not as great as their greatest…. Our humanity struggles with this concept.

There is a generation begging for you to be real… and to be real now. ~Karen Wheaton