I am no where near a Dad by any means… not even the correct gender to speak for Dads out there. But I can speak to Dads and Dads-to-be. Dads often don’t realize the paramount role they play in their daughters life. (In respect for time restraints lets keep it fairly narrow and talk about us girls) This seems to be a reoccurring topic in my surroundings of late so why not poke the box and see what crawls out!
We have lots of examples of Dads to draw from… Movie Dads, television Dads, Coach Dads, teacher Dads, Pastor Dads, Biological Dads, big brother Dads and many others… Sometimes this role is not one that has been requested or sought after and sometimes its not even a role thought to be desirable but it is a role of influence and power. Right now or at least in the last few seconds someone has popped into your mind, your Dad of sorts no matter how he came to be your Dad… at least I hope you can search around in your mind cavern filled with memory files and pull out one on a Dad! Go with that…
Here are some things we learn from Dads…
Am I loved… Every girl learns (what she believes) if she is lovable from her Dad. She wants to know you love her unconditionally and even when she fails or falls down you are right there to dust her off and she is never too big for that chivalry and protection.
How am I to be treated… Every girl watches how her Dad treats her mom and sisters (if she has any) as well as his mom and his sisters( if he has any) and she then internalizes this as the standard for acceptance in her future male friends and mate. Be careful and be aware she is watching. She wants to know whats acceptable.
Do you still want me… Even when she grows up she wants to know you take interest in her life. Don’t shrink back and slide by because she is becoming self-sufficient. You taught her to be independent but this doesn’t lessen her need for her Dad or your approval in her life choices and success as well as your support when she falls down in no stages of life! Be emotionally engaged you are irreplaceable!
Make memories… Something that can never be taken from your daughter is the memories you make with her. She will reflect back on those moments in times when she needs a laugh, needs strength, or even motivation. You will be a constant source even when you aren’t around. She needs time spent with you.
Will you be there… Every girl needs her Dad to “be there”. Show up! Be at her events, support her achievements and let her know she is doing a good job. This will help guide her and reinforce healthy decision making. Her need for a cheerleader never goes away.
Am I dateable… Take her out on a date. She needs the self-confidence when boys/men are in the picture. Dads set the standard, and Dads teach whats acceptable and worthy…Have a Dad date once in awhile and love on her! Go to the movies, talk to her face to face. In a world where technology is King too much is done via text and social media. Take her out to dinner and sit access form each other where a conversation can be had and teach her things…and… listen to what she is saying!
Am I beautiful… Guess what.. this is yet another role you play Dads. No matter who you got the job of Dad she will look to you and ask this question without words. Her heart is much more important than her appearance so fill it with love and acceptance. Fill her heart with the knowledge that YES! She is beautify and you couldn’t doubt it for a moment. Tell her! This influences her self-worth, her character, and her confidence. You are a powerful man.
Will you forgive me… Foster an atmosphere and relationship that lets her know Im your Dad and my love is unconditional. I will forgive you for your mistakes and help you grow through the consequences. Help her understand the process and you may not like what she has done but you don’t love her any less.
Your role is precious.
Be someones Dad.
Dads are hero’s no matter their job, appearance, or taste in music…