Whats in a Dad?

dadandgirlsI am no where near a Dad by any means… not even the correct gender to speak for Dads out there. But I can speak to Dads and Dads-to-be. Dads often don’t realize the paramount role they play in their daughters life. (In respect for time restraints lets keep it fairly narrow and talk about us girls) This seems to be a reoccurring topic in my surroundings of late so why not poke the box and see what crawls out!

We have lots of examples of Dads to draw from… Movie Dads, television Dads, Coach Dads, teacher Dads, Pastor Dads, Biological Dads, big brother Dads and many others… Sometimes this role is not one that has been requested or sought after and sometimes its not even a role thought to be desirable but it is a role of influence and power. Right now or at least in the last few seconds someone has popped into your mind, your Dad of sorts no matter how he came to be your Dad… at least I hope you can search around in your mind cavern filled with memory files and pull out one on a Dad! Go with that…

Here are some things we learn from Dads…

Am I loved… Every girl learns (what she believes) if she is lovable from her Dad. She wants to know you love her unconditionally and even when she fails or falls down you are right there to dust her off and she is never too big for that chivalry and protection.

How am I to be treated… Every girl watches how her Dad treats her mom and sisters (if she has any) as well as his mom and his sisters( if he has any) and she then internalizes this as the standard for acceptance in her future male friends and mate. Be careful and be aware she is watching. She wants to know whats acceptable.

Do you still want me… Even when she grows up she wants to know you take interest in her life. Don’t shrink back and slide by because she is becoming self-sufficient. You taught her to be independent but this doesn’t lessen her need for her Dad or your approval in her life choices and success as well as your support when she falls down in no stages of life! Be emotionally engaged you are irreplaceable!

Make memories… Something that can never be taken from your daughter is the memories you make with her. She will reflect back on those moments in times when she needs a laugh, needs strength, or even motivation. You will be a constant source even when you aren’t around. She needs time spent with you.

Will you be there… Every girl needs her Dad to “be there”. Show up! Be at her events, support her achievements and let her know she is doing a good job. This will help guide her and reinforce healthy decision making. Her need for a cheerleader never goes away.

Am I dateable… Take her out on a date. She needs the self-confidence when boys/men are in the picture. Dads set the standard, and Dads teach whats acceptable and worthy…Have a Dad date once in awhile and love on her! Go to the movies, talk to her face to face. In a world where technology is King too much is done via text and social media. Take her out to dinner and sit access form each other where a conversation can be had and teach her things…and… listen to what she is saying!

Am I beautiful… Guess what.. this is yet another role you play Dads. No matter who you got the job of Dad she will look to you and ask this question without words. Her heart is much more important than her appearance so fill it with love and acceptance. Fill her heart with the knowledge that YES! She is beautify and you couldn’t doubt it for a moment. Tell her! This influences her self-worth, her character, and her confidence. You are a powerful man.

Most important….

Will you forgive me… Foster an atmosphere and relationship that lets her know Im your Dad and my love is unconditional. I will forgive you for your mistakes and help you grow through the consequences. Help her understand the process and you may not like what she has done but you don’t love her any less.


Please Remember

Your role is precious.
Life changing.

Be someones Dad.
Love Well.

Dads are hero’s no matter their job, appearance, or taste in music…


Personal Retouching… Self-Esteem Boosters!

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit. – E.E. Cummings

For many people the thing holding you back form your dreams is yourself. Or the Lack of believing in the potential for Self-Esteemachievement. What you may consider is you could be starring down (or more likely avoiding starring down) fear of failure … and the lack of self-confidence to overcome said fear of failure.

Taking control of your self-confidence
I have have never been a big believer in self-talk. I will confess I am more convinced we can destroy ourselves faster than build ourself up when talking to ourselves. I do have a difficult time believing I can believe something I don’t believe by just telling myself to believe it over and over… you get me…

So… lets look at some other options… Make decisions that will cause yourself to be worthy of respect. Healthy decisions about your body, and mind. Such as boundaries and eating healthy…even working out! Yes I know… exercise. I believe in things that are concrete and health is something anyone can take hold of and work toward to some capacity. Yes there are things that are limiting but there is always room for improvement.  Other options that can even be best utilized in some combination!

Groom yourself
! Pay attention to how you dress,(Match your clothing) what your hair looks like (maybe brush it or wash it) brighten your smile, (like brush those teeth!), and for you ladies out there maybe consider a manicure or maybe make-up.
Kill Negative Thoughts! You may not be at a place to believe positive things you can say about yourself but at the very least lets stop putting ourselves down. There are plenty of others that do this for us…
Be your own friend! We have enough negative influences and forces coming against us today so lets be kind to ourselves and get to know ourselves a little better.   Know yourself and you will win all battles. – Sun Tzu  An effective means to organize these thoughts would be via journaling!
Be Kind and giving! When we are kind and giving to others they are more inclined to return the acts of kindness and generosity. This will come back to us as positive and encouraging. We get back what we put out there…
Be Prepared! There are many things in life we want to achieve and many dreams we want to see come to fruition. None of this can occur without preparation. None the less concerning Self-esteem right?  One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation. – Arthur Ashe

I could go on and on and maybe I will revisit this subject soon. But I wanted to bring attention to the severe lack of confidence these days in our society and even the american culture we are creating and facilitating for our children and one another… We are breeding poor confidence and low self esteem! Please feel free to throw out there ideas and things you have found to work for you! There are innumerable self-esteem builders out there and this is just a start! 

Happy growing!


Living on purpose.

Purpose. Something we hear often in the church world. Purpose, destiny, calling, and any other term describing what you are planning on doing or trying to unveil in your life concerning your future existence. Why are we here we often ask… Is this an age old question? Is purpose something aloof we must seek…

I was given a book by a dear friend of mine to read during my vacation. I read it. I didn’t know if I really wanted to read it, but I read it. It was about women and the purpose and understanding of women. I thought it comical that it was written by a man… You get me… For a man to write on the understanding of the purpose and power of woman is to have been given divine revelation for sure! So I began the journey through this book with preconceived ideas and actually patrolled my reading with another book many of you are familiar with titled Captivating. I have read it so many times I have now lost count.
At this point let me recommend both books to you no matter what your gender!

I have to believe how we respond to pressure is determined by the strength of our foundation in God. Now I will interject in this thought that some of our response come from our creation and purpose as a human race. Our Creator took great detail to form a shape us as not only people but man and woman. Our purposes may vary on a micro level but in the greater picture mans purpose and woman’s purpose are clearly defined. At times I found myself slightly offended by what the author had to say but questioned myself why? My only guess is society’s teaching… What has become custom for our culture is not completely in Gods design for our lives and existence. What do we do about it as a large body? Currently we seem to be choosing to be passive.
What now? What’s to come? What changes will we make as a body and what changes can we make starting today as individuals?
When we love are we loving purely?
Are we living intentionally?
Are we living as Christ…truly?
What is on your priority list and does it line up with your words…
Our actions and words are not always congruent…

Experiencing Father’s Embrace

There’s a cost of intimacy with Jesus. One I thought I had already been paying. Maybe not to the fullest extent of my abilities. I love Him more than life but what do I believe about His love?
I posed this question to myself after I was recently assigned to read a book by Jack Frost titled Experiencing Fathers Embrace. This is not a book review and if you want to know about the book itself I encourage you to just go ahead and buy it. To be transparent I had no desire to read this book but complied because of commitment to the experience revolving around the assigned reading003 Father's Embrace material.
I learned many things from this book and a few of those I think its important to share. At times it was like the author was describing my life and unraveling my heart, and he is right when he described – the tendency to strive and perform, and the love of law is deeply ingrained.  I gleaned a great deal form Jack Frosts writings and heard plenty form Heaven. That is the part I want to share with you.
When we keep a short account with Him… His love is more available to flow through us. We must “know the love that surpasses knowledge” (Eph 3:19) to translate that to the world. Many have received Jesus Christ as their savior and not made Him their Lord, or recognized their place as adopted by the Father and creator of the universe. I realize Daddy topics are always touchy with the general population for various reasons. That is just the reality of the society in which we now live. Our culture has changed and priorities have shifted.
Once an individual takes the notion and finds the deep hunger for Gods love and a personal intimate experience with Him, there will be no denial from The Father for that person to discover the depths of God’s love. He is the ultimate Father and none can compare. God delights immensely in his children. For some this is difficult to comprehend. If we are honest with ourselves the majority of people will find portions of this understanding unbelievable. We are finite and our human minds can only comprehend what we know, the rest is a challenge. We as God’s children struggle with our own guilt and shame of the knowledge of our own brokenness but as we come to trust that love more and more, we will naturally experience greater intimacy with Him. How beautiful.
I believe one reason we lack intimacy with God is the wrong or fractured understanding of his character as Father. God our Father defines love. He is love and He is where love derives. Consider 1 Corinthians 13. Go read it and replace love with Father and then replace love with God… it’s all the same. Is this difficult to swallow?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

We are facing a chasm in the church and body of Christ today. We attempt to advance the kingdom without the intimate work needed to bring believers to this understanding. Do we have a clear vision of how God really is our Father? Are we conveying this truth to others and seeing them embrace the understanding and grow? Or are we shying away from this because we ourselves do not yet grasp the magnitude of this… This implies many things for our spiritual life and temporal existence. All things will be made clear in Heaven but we have a short time here and must not live in striving mode or performance based living. Its about being like Him. Its about reflecting Him. All good things come form Him, go back to Him and are for His glory. Most Christians will acknowledge that God loves them. Thats not whats in question here, but if you look a little deeper many of those same individuals continue on living as though they are orphans.
I believe at this time it is imperative for the Kingdom that we take the challenge of our Father, embrace say-yes1His truth and begin to find out what it is to be adopted into the family of God with Him at the helm as our Father. This trust and understanding can and will go a long way in helping people move from an orphan mentality to a deep and abiding belief in their adoption as sons. Anything less is shorting others what Father has intended for their lives here on Earth living to their fullest capacity.

I certainly don’t say these things lightly. I am not one of those people that has ever been able to walk around talking about “Daddy” God. I haven’t had the capacity to do such but I am learning many things I never knew I never knew. I have been challenged by Heaven myself and I accept such knowing my strength is in the one who created me and not in myself so I am thus only responsible for the “YES” and He will guide the rest. I am willing. I believe thats the most important thing to say to Jesus is always Yes.

I believe teaching others of the Father’s love and the really of God as our Father is a mandate of the church and every believer. Unlike our experiences with people, Gods love is not based on what we have, what we do, or what we achieve. He loves to love His children.