clean socks, toothbrush, and a full change of personality

I have been looking at the life of Miss Havisham and I don’t care for the way such a life fits. 

Although I have no mate I have a great deal of talent and fortitude. I refuse to give up on living just because my living doesn’t reflect the picture I thought living would look like. 

The broken heart. You think you will die, but you just keep living, day after day after terrible day  -Miss Mahvisham

Despite my very own broken heart, I see my days filled with beauty. Each encounter I have there is a special something tucked in it just for my enjoyment. 

There are lots of self-hlp books, gurus with their hands out, words of advice and even programs one might take advantage of but I happen to be of the mind that when a person becomes resolute and puts his or her foot down and demands life to look him or her square in the face and make sense, then the person can begin to live again. Time marches on despite any attempts to anchor it down and cease its continuum. 

But thats the beauty of time, it does move on and so must we. There is no one worth your power, and giving it away to be disrespected. 

I would never tell a person to “get over it” that is unfair and disregards their pain and heartache.  Who am I to say such. 

The first step to moving on, as hard as it may be, is accepting what has happened and the changes that have and will occur. Acceptance is a hard act but a resolved mind, a mind set like flint to reach the purpose God has given, can do it through Christ.

Conflicts are difficult but when you overcome its glorious triumph! Use the pain, anger, and the passionate feelings that come as a package deal to plow ahead! Use the heartache as an energy source and see changes made at your hand! 

Dont step into the shoes of Miss. Havisham I refuse, those shoes do not fit me, I was made for great things. 



Play your harp a little louder

How much faster does your heart beat

when I say your name

When I call to you.

Let me hear the beat

the rhythm that keeps me pressing in

let me hear you take a breath

breath into me


When I draw near to you

are you  overwhelmed





I find my strength in you

you fill my void

you give me purpose.

I have found a love in you, a love so pure and true.

you hold me together and hide me away from my foe.

I owe to you my every breath.

Your love runs deep and never runs out

I found a love in you, you keep me on solid ground


Soup and Socks


Peering out my window from my bed this morning, it was nearly dark but enough light had broke through for me to make out the little windmill just across the side yard outside my window. The house was silent and no one moving about. I began to reflect on my need to create and build, my need to help and make change; what am I doing in bed… so often finding myself laying around and mumbling to myself how tired I am and how I am struggling with this or that. Albeit legitimate complaints its not comforting.

However the comfort I found in my day of uncertainty came from a dear friend miles away via a text message.

I don’t normally share my personal struggles with people but flt compelled to get it off my chest not thinking she might actually have an answer in some form to my confused and defeated thinking.

I wish i could take credit for the following illustration but I am so thankful to have a friend love me enough to share it with me!

A true story is told of two children. The parents of the first child were quite incompatible with each other. The father was unemployed with no formal education. The mother was a teacher.

This child, born in Port Huron, Michigan, had an estimated IQ of 81. However, being on the charts as did not prepare him for social ability. He was extremely withdrawn and after three months of school he dropped out. The school officials considered him to be backward.

This child enrolled in school two years late due to scarlet fever and respiratory infections. Because of this illness, he was going deaf. His emotional health was very poor. This young boy was stubborn, aloof, and showed very little emotion. His grammar was poor. He liked to play with fire and burned down his father’s barn. He showed a little manual dexterity. One interests that he did have was in mechanics. Also, he had a desire to be a scientist.

The second child did not show much promise either. She was born of an alcoholic father. As a child she was sickly and bedridden, and often hospitalized. She too was considered erratic and withdrawn She would bite her nails and had numerous phobias. Because of a spinal defect, she had to wear a back brace and would constantly seek attention.

She was a daydreamer and seemed to have no vocational goals. She did express a desire to help the poor and the elderly and those that were in economic depression.
Who were these children unfortunate children?

The boy from Port Huron became one of the world’s greatest inventors–Thomas Edison. The awkward and sickly girl became a leader among the oppressed–Eleanor Roosevelt. These children would have been voted “unlikely to succeed.”

I have been doubting, periodically, lately, the promises God has given me and the things He has shown me and told me I would experience. I know I am not old but I have felt like my best years are being squandered, and i could do more so much more NOW.

But I am encouraged that despite my current situation, there is always more, more to experience, more changes to be made, and hope for promises to come to rest!

There is such greatness to be seen and experienced and there is not a timer on them to be fully taken in.

All I ask for myself is that when I come to my finally breath, I die used up, I die empty…

Thank you my dearest friend, Bonnie, thank you for the changes your making in this world!

An Island Life


Life on an island may sometimes come by surprise, unintentional or even un-welcomed after discovery. 

Life’s emotional traps are often like a chinese finger trap you had as a kid. The more you struggle to be free the tighter and more difficult it becomes to break out! Getting free is ironically just the opposite of what it would appear to require to gain freedom. Letting go, relaxing, giving up your control in such a way that you are not fighting against yourself and creating a tighter fitting trap.

Fear begs for isolation and separation form our love, our desires and dream!  Its in spite of fear that we must free ourselves through faith, and hope to actually begin the journey from isolation to walk to road to reaching our dream! 

“I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life” – Thoreau

Die empty! Die all used up and ready to move on to the next journey in eternity! Stop fearing and worrying. Look at where fear and worry has carried you, is it where you want to be carried in the next 5 years? Is fear, worry and doubt the traveling companions you want to swim with as you begin your journey from the little island of isolation to join the city of dreamers and doers?!

Victory is what your looking for, victory is the friend you want to journey with to success! Suffering is an addiction and it is a mind resolute to change take the Hand of Jesus and follow His face to freedom, victory, change, and the only baggage you should carry should be filled with joy, hope, peace, and consistency. Its a light bag was exactly nothing and will cost you nothing on your journey because Jesus paid your toll, your parking, and your ticket! 

Everyone has a choice and everyone makes the choice they WANT on a daily basis and everything outside that choice is an excuse. 

If you want to go from burned out to on fire, its but a breath away. 

Tie your shoes, shut the door to your island hut and get to traveling! 

or don’t. Everyone has a choice; just know your island will begin to sink whether your on it or not.


I will make this quick but there is something I need to get off my chest and because this is my blog I have the privilege of using this forum to do so. 

I am in turmoil over a seeming widespread epidemic. When someone does something and another gets offended even if it wasn’t meant to hurt the offended individual but the offender is obviously in need of something and only God can provide that, as Christians we are told to forgive and help not make tormenting remarks that will follow that individual the rest of their lives.

I have come in contact with to many hurting people recently that have individuals that have presented a potential harbored un-forgiveness even if they have forgotten the person they haven’t forgotten their offense when the name comes up. 

This is WRONG! 

What I know is, Jesus forgave ALL your sins even the secret ones! 

Im not asking anyone to be foolish but Jesus helped and heard you and was a friend to you when you were not worthy, wait as a sinful nature we are NEVER but by the blood worthy! It is Jesus that makes us worthy, that purifies us in the sight of God!!! Search your heart!

Im finished. 

Lord Forgive me if I am guilty of this and help me be more like You!

Voice of my Weeping…

In Psalms 6 David says hear the voice of my weeping… Upon pondering this statement, isn’t it a beautiful thing that weeping is universal. Just as Hallelujah has no other form in any language, weeping is understood by all men and in the heavens! Consider it a form of prayer, when words fail God hear the voice of my weeping! 

Often there are words we feel so deeply within our being but have no way or knowledge of forming them without mouth… it is then weeping, tears take the place of formed words and become words themselves. 

David did not give up even in his darkest hours, so then why should we in our modern day american dreams give up? Yes there are people who have it so bad but the majority of them are fighting, fighting to be free and yet there is the larger portion of us who feel we just cannot even go on when the cable gets shut off because the bill went unpaid after to much money was spent on other things. 

Priorities in our daily lives must line up with the word of God, and we must be good stewards of the blessings God has given us. Beyond that we should seek those less fortunate and help lift them up. No I’ certainly not saying give all your money away but follow what God is leading you to do, give, or be.

When you find yourself in a dark hour or without words, your tears, your weeping voice will be heard, always will be heard. 

Look up! Lift up your head!

The LORD made heaven and earth.
The LORD doesn’t sleep.
The LORD is our keeper.
The LORD is our shade.
The LORD will keep us from all evil.

“Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith…” (Hebrews 12:2 ESV)

“Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will bring it to pass.” (1 Thessalonians 5:24 NASB)

“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 1:6 ESV)

when Jesus prayed, He “lifted up His eyes to heaven” (Matthew 14:19, John 14:41, John 17:1)
The very Son of God knew where His help came from.

“Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.” (Psalm 42:11 ESV)

It’s time I lift up my head…you look up!

See the One who stands alone the One who is capable of almighty works
The One who is indescribable but in our human finite efforts has related Him to be…
The blessed and only Sovereign… The King eternal… Immortal… Invisible… He who dwells in unapproachable light… The King of Kings… The Lord of Lords… The only God. (1 Timothy 1:17 ESV; 1 Timothy 6:15-16 ESV)

So look up… Lift up your head in the midst of your battle…
The sky is where a rainbow exists and it cannot appear without rain….